It has been said that the bad news is time flies; the good news is you’re the pilot. The world isn’t responsible for how we live in it each day, we are. And if we take responsibility for how we experience each moment, nothing in the world can stop us from living the life we choose. Do you feel “behind the wheel” in this earth plane? Do you take responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions (no matter what is happening around you) because you know you are perfectly free to decide for yourself who you will be in any moment? Or when things appear to go off course, when a bumpy or stormy situation comes up, do you look for someone else to blame for the direction your life has taken?
We learned the magic mantra, “It wasn’t me,” early in life. When someone in authority (a parent or teacher) asked, “Who did this?” or “How did this happen?” often even before we knew what the “this” was, we said “It wasn’t me!” Denying responsibility felt good because it kept us out of trouble. It was like a parachute that got us out of a bumpy ride before it crashed. However, denial can become a way of life that keeps us living in fear of exposure and humiliation, and prevent us from learning from our mistakes. Fear causes us to deny responsibility for our reactions and behaviors—“He made me mad. She made me sad. It wasn’t me! They did it to me!” We can learn great things from our mistakes when we aren’t busy denying them! If we allow our mistakes to define us, rather than teach us, that definition often becomes a life sentence of feelings of unworthiness we seek to hide at all cost.
Denial and defensiveness are like a shell we’ve built around us that we hope (but don’t trust) will keep us from being hurt by the disapproval and rejection of others. But all that shell does is keep us inside living in fear, and prevents us from experiencing the inner joy, love and peace we are created to feel and express. We may hope someone will come along, pick away at our shell, and “make us” feel that joy, love and peace. But just as a baby chick must break through its own shell so that it will become strong enough to live in the world, so do we. If we make someone else responsible for how we feel (anytime), we give away our power and freedom to decide what experience we will have. Only we can break through the inner barriers that keep us from living honestly and fearlessly in the world.
It takes incredible trust in the Spirit of Love that created us for us to own our mistakes when we make them, try to correct them if we can, and forgive our self and others whether a mistake can be corrected or not. Real trust requires our willingness to be who we are in every circumstance and in every relationship. Every time we give our self permission to think for our self from inside our self; every time we let our self feel what we feel without judging that feeling; every time we do whatever it is we choose to do, we are participating in our own life. We are saying to the world “This is me!” And, no one else can say those words for us!